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Showing posts from 2017

all along the watchtower

Start with what is right rather than what is acceptable.
-Franz Kafka

A lot of people call me weird; I get it though it's what you call something you don't understand. I can honestly say a lot of people are weird to me. Compared to a lot of people my age I live my life a lot differently. Most of my peers spend there Friday and Saturday nights getting hammered, partying and trying to get laid to the point where the lines blur from a suave gentleman to Harvey Weinstein pretty quick. Me, on the other hand, I taught somebody a skill for money, watched Netflix and passed out before nine thirty. Yes, I know such the animal I better leave some fun for the rest of use. But fuck I enjoyed it, I got eight hours sleep and feel balanced today ready to keep moving forward to conquer the day. That's what I find weird about going out making a blur of your weekend. The ratio of having a good time compared to the time spent wasting it. You spend three to five hours getting white girl waste…

Pushing through the pain

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. -Charles R. Swindoll There comes a moment in every athlete's journey, no matter if you're a novice, professional or somewhere in between which changes you. Now, this moment isn't pushing through the wall of fatigue, winning pretty things or looking in the mirror and thinking you're a stud. Nope, it's the moment when something doesn't go right. It's unexpected but when you feel the pop of bones snapping, the sliding off cartilage with a strange vibration or just hearing a ligament give out you know you fucked up. The feeling of dread hits you like a brick in the chest as you man the mental control center to estimate the damage you've done. Hoping for sprains rather then tears is like calling your mother a bitch and hoping she doesn't backhand you. Brief moments of outside silence is consumed by the chaos of noise inside as you go from worst case situation to best. It happens to everyone no ma…

California love

There is science, logic, reason; there is thought verified by experience. And then there is California.
-Edward Abbey

I recently got back to from a trip, it was two weeks away from my normal life and the result are eye-opening. I've come back from California were me and a handful of savages went to go do the thing that brought six varied personalities together. That thing is jiu-jitsu. When I told people I was going on holiday to go train I was met with many confused looks. Why would anyone spend that much money to go somewhere to get choked and be physically destroyed? Well, that easy it's because we all love it, it's that one thing we got that puts the mind in focus when the world spins the other way. I can understand why you would think it's crazy but everyone has that there thing. It creates fulfilment in their lives. The way I see it my love for jiu-jitsu is just as crazy as some forty-year-old accountant that barracks for a football team with a fiery passion. Eve…

Do the right thing

If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it.
-John Irving

You know sometimes I feel like I'm writing in circles on this blog with a lot of different takes on the same premise. That premise is how to be better and how to deal with your imperfections rather than avoiding them. We all do it, we take what the things that we aren't getting right or are negatively impacting our lives and cram it away like a box of old junk. But that stuff you consider as junk is more important and shouldn't be avoided or forgotten. They are the vines and mess that cover an old house and keep it from being warm, inviting and a great place to live. They keep you sedated and content with something you trick yourself into being happy with. Like a cobra being charmed into submission by a man with a flute and a strange hat. People who accept bad relationships or are happy being fifty kgs overweight and say I'm happy and just I'm "big and…

And the reason

Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
-George Bernard Shaw

The ying can be seen as a spastic situation
Blackness, strobe flashes and fog can make your vision shrouded
People think they can help but it's my mind which is clouded
Nightmares and misunderstanding keep me laying separated from the population
With rose colored glasses on I look at people and see no relation

I'm unbreakable but that's only the shell
on the inside, I'm lonely as hell just caught in a spell
even a tank is useless when it's empty
the cold metal welded can become a cell
looking for someone to tell, sitting her wondering when the fuck I fell!

Looking from the outside I know I shouldn't complain
that's a nice thought but it doesn't help with the pain
I got to fix this problem I have nobody to blame
It's not my fault but I don't want to live my life in the rain
Can't kill myself it's wasting supply, ill give it to other people
I will …

The Rhyme

"It can be hard
It can be so hard
But you gotta live right now
You got everything to give right now"
-Logic

Alpha is the sun between the clouds and the blue

happy are people smiling with no bills due

bouts of laughter drowning out the jesters spew

the path of joy seems carved from earth, worn but smooth

but for some mangled people, it's something completely new

The sun is so bright so it's strange to see it broken by dawn

dusk eats away the laughter and leaves nothing in its place

hidden in a vacuum you can't hear the screams and no tears form

made a monster, broken but it's too late the official sounds the horn

running and running I can't see the point in this race

searching and grasping for what turns boys into savages?

starting from the middle, I fall down cry and move to the other side

I remember my last tear dropping innocence lost with quoted damages

white rope binds, cuts and leaves me exposed with nowhere to hid

only left with a mind full of lesso…

The crystal ship

"The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing."
-Marcus Aurelius

Live is fucked, it's something we all know but so few of us rarely accept. You watch the news which is a broadcast which sells negativity for brought space. Most of us rarely remember that behind every picture lies a thousand words, most of the time we only see the terrible things happening around the world. We are so focused on atrocities performed rather than the kindness it mutates people to carry around a stigma of negativity. We live in an abstract place, it's best you get used to it and figure out how to navigate it. The craziest part is there isn't even a guide map to help you along, it's like trying to figure out how sex works in an Amish community. You just got to do the best for you and hope it all works out, those with positive intentions normally do ok. I think a good way to play is to work on your own artistry and build strong friendships with other good people.

Although go…

Riders of the storm

Monkeys are superior to men in this: when a monkey looks into a mirror, he sees a monkey.
-Malcolm de Chazal

A lot of people think I'm a little bit strange, it's not something that bothers me because I am. That's the persona I put out to the world, I have an amalgamation of characteristics that not a lot of people put together. Most people think I'm cocky and a "know it all" which I don't think I am. Like most people, I am dreadfully complicated but that's a distinctive trait that I share with the majority of the population. No matter what hangs between your legs, your religion or if you are one of these pronoun people.

I'm good at a lot of things which are undeniable and there are some things I think I'm good at but just haven't met anyone to tell me otherwise. I try to help people where I can but only if I like you because if I don't you won't like me very much. One thing I'm pretty good at,  now this is just my own opinion i…

A beautiful day

Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.
-Og Mandino

I've always felt a little bit like a traveller like I move from spot to spot and scenario to scenario. Meeting new people, having these weird little adventures and then never seeing them again. Swapping stories about life, strategies on how to deal with chaos and stories that get adjusted to feel like blockbuster epics. sometimes life feels like an old country song and I'm the old drifter walking on hot desert highway bleeding into the horizon. I make friends easily when I want to, I have the ability to be a goof to be fearless and I think when you're not afraid to look stupid in front of someone it has a great capacity to make their guards go down. Strange abilities learnt from a lifetime of adjusting, I just take it one day and one stride at a time enjoying the little adventures.

This strategy won't work for everything because some things do require some prior planning and need small parts o…

The bachelors manifesto

"If God made anything better than pussy he's keeping it for himself"
- Mike Tyson

So I was at the pub the other day with a couple of friends, it was a special occasion as a couple of them are leaving to start new adventures in their lives. I'm happy and excited for them life's all about being explored and I don't wish any of my friends to live unfilled lives. One of them is getting married, she was telling me her wedding dates and gave me a stern warning that I better have a lady friend to bring by then. I found the comment rather funny because this isn't the first time someone has told me to get a girlfriend already. From subtle to not so subtle hints from my mum, dad and various others, it's not that I haven't thought about because I have but I have my own thoughts about what I think feminism, what I am looking for. Maybe I have high standards but I ain't no hoe.

As hard for that is for some of you to believe but I feel as I have a lot to gi…

Kryptonite

“There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.”
― Hunter S. Thompson

One of my favourite fictional character's is Superman, ever since I was a kid watching episodes of Smallville's and Christopher Reeve renditions like they contained secrets of eternal youth. As a character some might say he's a little boring, he has ever strength you would ever need, is the ultimate nice guy and only weakness is a rock. What makes him interesting is that he is an alien, sure he looks like a normal guy but his genetic material is not the same. That's what I relate too, not saying I'm from a galaxy far, far away because I'm pretty sure my parents made me the old fashioned way. Not that I like to think about it but if you don't think the people who made you have done some damage to each other you're probably ignorant of other things in life too. I guess …

Whole lotta love

"Life is pain and the enjoyment of love is an anesthetic." -Cesare Pavese
What happened to relationships? Not to say they don't still exist. It's just these days they seem to breed more assholes and chaotic situations than being what they should be. I always thought a relationship whether it is romantic or just platonic, were supposed to be these experiences where adventures are enjoyed, enhanced from what they would be in a nomadic state. If they end shouldn't they implode rather then explode with casualties, it's easier to be relieved you got out of a bad situation rather than loath over it, let it fester some sort of darkness in the pit of your stomach?. I often wonder if some people need an IQ test after they say there moving on. Then stalk a Facebook account for hours, like someone praying the gay away because they hate the fact they think dick's taste yummy(oh yeah, there might some dick jokes in this one, the people have spoken).

 Life is a strang…

Saturday night fever

“If You’re Going To Do Something Tonight That You’ll Be Sorry For Tomorrow Morning, Sleep Late.” -Henny Youngman
Wake up in the morning, I feel slightly charged, there's a different vibration to this day. Endless potential scenarios are going to occur tonight, it's going to be a big night and my mind wanders over them as I breeze through the day. It's been awhile since I've let off some steam, it feels like waiting for the cheat day where you destroy your favourite heart attack inducing snack as endorphins rush and tingle down your spine. The afternoon approaches and it's time to decide which beverage I'm taking into battle for the fabled Pre drinks, because who needs their wits about them when entering the jungle. Who wants to spend ten bucks on mixed drink when bills are already too complicated to pay. I go with an old favourite, Rum pre-mixed with coke zero, just because I'm going for a night of drunken fun doesn't mean my waist line has to suffer t…

Purple haze

So I finally achieved it, a goal I have been working on for over a year now and I got to say it feels good. I was given my purple belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu, since I was given the belt I have done a lot of reflecting and thinking. The reflecting I did took me for a trip down memory lane and although there have been some rough patches it has been one hell of a ride. you see I'm really lucky because I feel I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be at this moment of time, it's like the cogs of time lined up in the exact sequence to land me in such a great club full of great people who I get the privilege to call me friends. It's kind of strange I'm twenty-two and very few of my friends are my own age. Jiu-jitsu has this great ability to bring people of different ages, cultures and genders together in one quaint learning experience. kind of ironic that the practice of learning how to destroy each other actually brings people together which is a magic that only happens …